anxiety

martin heidegger suggests that anxiety is useful in that it shocks you out of your life as a man in a crowd (das mann) with the reality that no one is going to die for you so we should focus on the essence of our being, enabling us to live an authentic life.
to me, anxiety and insecurity draw attention to what exists in our lives and is not acceptable in metaphysical nature, where pain plays the same role in the material world.  at first, anxiety nudges at our side for us to open up and adjust our attitude to alleviate the suffering.  but the ego tells us to repress these feelings because the ego is blind to positive and negative energy.  but the feeling doesn't go away, anxiety consume the person's life and causes every irrational and perhaps every inappropriate action. 
 with advanced pineal gland meditation, i have developed a keen sense to identify the anxiety and insecurity in a person. i have seen it plague the entire body and cripple the happiness and beauty in a person. my sensitivity to this phenomena becomes tangibly futile since it is the anxiety that becomes inflamed with the notion of being exposed so out of respect for the person's well being i am obliged to let it go even when i feels like i'm turning my cheek to an injustice.

knowledge vs wisdom and preference vs objectivity

wisdom is a divine experience, and every word that comes out of our mouth is an attempt to tap into this wisdom... the buddha or jesus used words to create a wordless state of consciousness within their disciples. wisdom is instant, knowledge is accumulated, wisdom only appears when the ego disappears, the mind is only interested in knowledge... wisdom is intrinsically true, you cannot learn it, it grows in your heart it is an experience, it makes you mature and innocent at the same time, the win win situation.

knowledge can be true in the same way our preference can be true, but we cannot argue preference or taste, it is personal. wisdom is tapping into the metaphysical objective reality that lies behind all existence

it is simple to be knowledgeable,  all you have to do is read... but wisdom is risky, it is without qualities (feminine)

words are indicators for those who meditate, but to everyone else they are dangerous because they believe in the words for what they say and they miss the spirit

reiteration of the process of relations from metaphysics to physics

the imagination is the abyss itself from which we pluck a piece to place in time and space, and thus the manifestation of existence occurs... material existence is only sliver of Existence (it would be like judging a person based on their physical features and ignoring their overall character). if we do not consider and dedicate ourselves to the realm of possibility we are forced to make decisions based on past experience, and thus disabling evolution or progress

if a thought exists, it exists in the metaphysical spectrum of reality. if a thought manifests into action, the action has already existed in two places with a conscious transition from possibility to actuality or metaphysical to physical reality which means the ability to filter the action should be applied and will be perceived accordingly

there are a few philosophical terms that i understand, yet don't find their meaning to be enough.... i will share what i mean by them and would like to know what people think about my observation.

objective (traditionally to me) means the opposite of emotive. but (non traditionally to me) an objective is a material example or a tangible experience that is a piece of the puzzle.
subjective is the whole (puzzle). ie philosophy is the subject, while existentialism is the object of concentration within the subject.

the ego (in the form of emotions) binds us to categorizing the object based on its tangible form, yet if we were aware of the subjective or metaphysical dimension we could grasp a concept that not only applies to the examples that we experience but avoid the fear of new stimuli because only its physical features would be new. if we observe individual objects with similar attributes, there is a deeper essence that links them; the distinguishable function that determines it necessary for multiple examples with only slight variations to materialize.

to me, this is a useful distinction in metaphysics because as an observer we can only perceive objective reality through empirical data and rationality. though rationality is itself metaphysical, it only exists and becomes more efficient by empirical experience. the brain is a physical organ and the mind is a metaphysical emergent property of the material body. rationality is a tool of the mind, yet because it relies on sense experience to make inferences it is vastly limited.

if we experience reality only in the way that it relates to us, we blind ourselves to the reality that exists beyond our perception of reality. if we don't abstract our ego from our perceptual experience, then our world becomes so narrow that we are forced to make a leap of faith and which is the basis of all prejudice, assumptions and ignorance. a leap of faith can at best be correct by chance, which is not desirable if being right is an available option, and it always is. if we observe things in nature (without the stimuli relating to us) the proper relationships appear to us more clearly than our own beliefs to the extent that the ideal manifests into flesh and bone. what i am talking about is shifting the ego's need to make sense the environment it finds itself in, to passively allowing the world to exist as it does without us. i am not denying my preferences, but they do not constitute a reality that matters to anyone or anything but me